Life is not a “Mills & Boon”, where there is always a special someone waiting just for you, created by the God himself, who will make butterflies run in your belly and make you dizzy with his or her kisses. Recent movies, TV shows and even Facebook has successfully overrated the whole concept of true love and romance. It has done a great job in propagating false messages and trap the people in the damaging myths about a perfect Relationship. Read more
Have you ever been in a situation when just a sight of a happy couple starts irritating you? Then welcome aboard my friend, because we all have been there at some point in our lives.
We have often seen people talking about the “honeymoon phase” in a relationship, when everything is sweet and beautiful like the roses. Then, the so-called phase come to an end turning the same relationship into a bed of thorns. There are times when everything falls into a monotonous routine, even our most romantic and spontaneous relationships.
And after that comes the infamous lines like “I can’t do this anymore”, “this is not working out” and my personal favorite, “it’s not you, it’s me”. As per the normal human tendency, people start blaming others for this. Sometimes, it’s a person and at other times, it is the circumstances.
I really can’t understand this. I mean, hello!!! It’s the same person you fell in love with. You can surely make some efforts to make this work, can’t you?
It doesn’t take much to make your relationship a successful one. Just small gestures, and a bit of an effort from both the companions will do it. Here are some of the small steps which can help.
- Make them feel special
I have often seen people declaring their love for each other. You tell them that you really do love them two times a day. It’s good. Really, it is. But it is high time that you take a step further than this. Tell your partner that why you love them. Give them reasons. It will not only make them feel special, but it will provide you with a self-realization and end up giving you more reasons to love them.
- Give them your time
The most common problem we face in this busy life is that we don’t have time for each other. Running from one place to another, we have completely forgotten what it was like to just sit with each other and relax. It’s time to schedule a one-on-one time with your partner. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a big date where you get all dressed up. Even a Netflix rundown on the TV, accompanied by popcorn would do the magic.
- Listen to them
Lack of communication can bite you in the ass. I mean, how can you even expect a healthy relationship when you don’t even know the routine life of your partner? Just give your full attention to them and turn off your phone or TV while they are speaking. Offer the words of encouragement after listening to them and do not, I repeat, do not interrupt in between. It will indicate your partner that you value them and that their opinions do matter to you.
I think that the most important thing to work out a relationship is to not give up on your partner and yourself. Taking these small steps will help you to boost your relationship to another level.
The NO win question
This is going to be quick. Why? Because it doesn’t need a lot of time to get to the root of it. It doesn’t matter…because it’s a question to set someone up to fail.
Whether you’re a lady who’s asked or a guy who’s been asked, you toast.
See the guy knows the answer. An immediate NO, of course not. Or No, why would you ever think that.
Problem: Women ask because they know they look fat in them jeans.
Cause: Either you man lies to you or he appeases you. Either way, you’ve got that boy dead to rights.
It’s a game. Men, don’t fall for it. And in my opinion, games should be left on the court, field or in the box when your doing with Pictionary (one of my favorites)–Not in relationships. My fiance and I made a deal not to play these kinds of games and it’s been Ahhhmazing!
You show me a couple where the woman asks the question and when the man says, yes, I’d wear something else, she thanks him for saving her from embarassment and then they hug and kiss and skip the night out to make love. Oh, wait…that’s the dream sequence.
Women: Don’t ask the question. That’s it! Seriously! Don’t do it!
Men: Before the question is finished you better be saying NOOOOOOOOOOO! Unless you like the couch.
Told you. This one was quick and easy. And hopefully it’ll save a few souls out there.
Dumper or Dumpee
Either way, it’s no fun. As the dumper, you have to do it. Unless you’re heartless, you have to know your going to be crushing someone. And I’m talking about intense or serious relationships. The casual ones. They don’t really count.
And if your the dumpee, oh lawdy. That’s the worst. More often then not you’re unsuspecting and so not ready for it. And when it happens, it’s like, WhYYYYYYYYY! Please take me back. I can change.
We’ve all said something of that at some point in our life. It sucks.
Which would you prefer to be? The Dumper or the Dumpee?
But before we get to that answer, let’s delve into the psyche of the dumper.
And to do so, I have to ask a question:
How would you dump your boyfriend/girlfriend?
- Take them to dinner and do it in a public place
- Meet with them and have a private conversation
- Send an email or text or snapchat or FB message
- Get so mean you force a reversal and they dump you
- Let the relationship fizzle
- Have an affair, thus making it easier for you to leave them and not be alone. You asshole!
Here’s a little something for you to enjoy….the lighter side to break ups.
If you’re holding on to an old relationship. If you’re in something you know isn’t right. If your still mad an ex. STOP! Right now!
Here’s why, in story form. I told you about my heartbreaks. They sucked. But guess what. Each one of those supposed failures led me to my current situation. Which is double AWESOME! Obviously, the heart does what it does and there’s hurt, pain, sadness, tears, etc. etc. etc. blah blah blah. And I wasn’t impervious to it either. Yet when I look back, I see that I learned something from each relationship and it made me into the person I am today. Who, I have to admit, is pretty rad.
Okay, still haven’t gotten to the point. Here it is. Be grateful those relationships didn’t work. If you were dumped, why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t think you are the most incredible person in the world. Exactly. What you should be doing is calling them up right now and thanking them. Because you’ve either found that someone special or you’re going to. And guess what, it might not be the next one, two or three after this hurt. And thank them too. Because thank the lords that you don’t end up with them either.
Is this starting to make some sense to you? You’ve been looking at it all wrong. Seriously! If it had continued, you’d be miserable. They’d be miserable. It’d be a miserable situation that you’d have forced to continue. Everyone is where they are when they are there.
No go out there and start thank those dumpers and dumpees! It’s your job.
This is my new site and blog thus I would like to formally introduce myself to you and you to the blog known as Cheating Spouses Software.
So you’re thinking this is going to be about programming? Right? Wrong.
What is this about then?
Well, maybe it is about programming, but not in the way you are thinking about things. If you took the time to get to know me, then you’d know that I’m engaged. And why not then start a kick ass blog about relationships! I’ve known too many people that have failed. Over and over. They don’t intend to, but it happens. And that’s because they’re working with the best that they have, which is themselves. And how are they going to do anything other then what they know, if all they know is…..themselves.
They can’t. It’s a fact.
Here I am going to offer my many different types of ideas and tips and whatevers on what you can do in your relationships to make them better. Nobody is perfect, trust me. My fiance makes sure to tell me that all the time. Bahaha.
I’m not the guru of relationships. I know people. And I know what people want. And at the end of the day, it’s pretty simple, when you get to the root of it.
Where to start?
At the beginning I guess. When I was younger, I always wanted to be in a relationship, but never found anyone that jazzed me up enough. Maybe it was my need to find perfection while I was looking at all their flaws? Don’t get me wrong, I dated. And a lot. I just never seemed to be content. I’d date, but I wasn’t good at faking the fact that I didn’t really like them…and I wasn’t someone that could just date because they were hot. Didn’t fly for me. There had to be more. A jeune ne se qua.
And I’ve had my heart broken. Big time! By a number of loves/lusts when I was super young. Those teen throws we have…UGH! Miss them. And then there’s the first love. Whoa, was I crushed by that! My crazy ex who faked a suicide. Doh! Missed the signals there! And then there was my divorce, which actually ended better then any of the rest of them. Loved each other enough to let each other go. We tried everything and weren’t able to make it work. So, that was that. We’re still friends and now their re-married and have a kick ass son. I guess as I’ve gotten older, I’ve found better ways to deal with the issues at hand.
I still have a temper and my patience could be more robust, but people. I get people.
Now we are back on point. Thank God. I didn’t know if I’d ever make it back from that tangent.
Side note: I have a couple friends that are still married to their high school sweet hearts. How cool is that! Then there’s my friend who’s getting married next month and he’s in his 40’s. No judgement as we are all on our own path. And who’s to say when the right time is that we meet that special someone?
The point of all this is over the years, my friends come to me for advice. I give GREAT relationshiop advice. It took me years to be able to follow my own, and I’m still not perfect. But for others…I’m the best! For real. Ask my fiance, who will have friends call or email me on what to do in circumstances in their dating or marriage.
Maybe I should have been a therapist. I guess I’ll get to do that here.